Open Letter

Dear Perfect Person to Whom God Granted All Rights of Judgment,

I hope this letter finds you well.  In fact, I'm certain it does because you are a perfect human being.  You have chosen to subscribe to only one paradigm and that is the one dictated by "the majority."  I do understand that often, especially in our overpopulated world teeming with human beings, there will be a majority in most every social situation.  I actually read an interesting essay from the 60's about the "mass mind" which explained why things can seem like they have mass appeal or are largely popular.  Let me provide your feeble brain a simple example: iPhones seem to be massively popular all over the world.  However, it just so happens that a large quantity of individual people, all distinct in their own tastes, preferences, and backgrounds, chose the iPhone.  They all, as individuals, chose this particular product because they personally liked it best.  Well, for the most part they did.  Sure, some may have picked that one because they thought it would make them fit in better or appear cool/hip/trendy.  Generally speaking, though, I'd like to believe most people make choices because they really believe in them and want specific things for themselves.

Having said this, if you truly are choosing to believe that your perfection is what entitles you to have your very own opinion of how the world should be, then good for you!  You really are an individual, and since you belong to a "majority" there must be a quadtrillion more very unique and individual people such as yourself.  And since there must be a quadtrillion more very unique and individual people who are very similar to you in beliefs and values, well, gosh darnit, y'all must all be correct in these beliefs.  Pat yourself on the back because you are clearly chosen by God Himself to decide what other human beings should do, how they should look, and whether or not they are even privileged enough to merely live within your human race.  God would be so happy with you because He really does need your help eradicating some of the very creatures He had a hand in creating.  I mean, you're probably a Christian, right?  Or religious in some way...?  And most very religious people would argue that God has a hand in creating all of us (we are made in His image, after all).  So good for you for making sure that all of God's oopsies are not only made aware of their inferiority, but for some of you, even going that extra mile to just eliminate some as well.

I'm not very religious, but I am spiritual, and I believe in God in that He represents a higher power for sure.  I mean, no one has offered me a 100% scientifically viable answer to the question about how the world began.  Yeah, maybe something blew up, but no one has offered me a 100% scientifically viable answer to why this place supports human life, and how the human life began, and how we ended up with all these different plants and animals and other cool stuff in nature.  I mean, according to the movie PROMETHEUS our creator dropped some DNA in the water.  And I struggle mightily to wrap my brain around some single cell just appearing somehow and evolving into all the natural grandeur that exists on Earth.  So yeah, in my humble opinion there's a God out there somewhere.  And surely He played a part in my own personal existence, so I believe that means I deserve to be here.  But you believe God's role in our existence deals with the body, and I believe His role in it deals with the spirit.  I think God was fine setting the scientific, biochemical and geological wheel in motion then letting it evolve as it may.  But our spirits, that energy and essence that truly makes each human being unique no matter what type of little carbon-based body they ride around inside, will always be, and only God could do something as friggin' awesome as that.  Besides, those of us who really engage with God on a spiritual level really feel it, and we don't need to sit in a building on a designated day or selectively utilize a piece of literature that more or less gives us the word to prove we know what's up with Him.  Perfect Person, you of the finely gleaned wisdom of life, I humbly ask you to stop with your Biblical defenses.  If you aren't simply living the Ten Commandments (or whatever key rules are at the core of your religion), you just aren't doing right by God.  He tried to make it really simple, after all, because He knows we are not perfect and that we will mess up, He probably just hoped we weren't going to mess up on the epic scale that we are now.

The other issue at hand, Perfect Person, is that while you believe you belong to a group represented by "the majority" of people out there, I hope you chose your beliefs because you read a lot about the topics of which you speak, or because you personally know at least one meeeellion people of a certain sub-category and they all most definitely act a particular way and truly display some level of nefariousness and perversity that would be found immoral by every single other human being on the planet, thereby warranting their swift removal from this planet.  I also hope you have full scientific, psychosocial, and/or experiential data to support your hateration, er, opinion.  But what I really hope for you, Perfect Person, is that your hate and intolerance and black cancer of an attitude elevate you.  I hope you soar high into the sky, far above these sub-humans you so vehemently abhor.  I hope you live all of your days knowing that your vitriol is the key to making sure that you are instantly superior to so many out there.  But seriously, Perfect Person, if Lindsey Lohan as Cady Herron from Mean Girls can make the wise and simple conclusion that calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter, surely you could, too....??

Perfect Person, you should be proud of the heritage you represent and help to perpetuate.  People like Adolf Hitler and the Ku Klux Klan would applaud you.  Hate and superiority helped drive their causes, and we all know how wonderfully those causes contributed to humankind.  I know thinking can be hard, but try to do some of that sometimes instead of just knee-jerking your way through life.  You'd be surprised how much our world would improve if you would just remember that others are capable of feeling the same things you feel, and actually share many of the same hopes and dreams that you do (because human beings have commonality like that).  And jeepers, Perfect Person, you don't have to agree with everything, you just don't have to blindly hate, discriminate, and retaliate.  I mean, I don't agree with parents who allow their children to be roaming the block past about 11 PM (only because it's summer - should be 9 PM during the school year), but I have to remind myself that there are many factors that have led to these parents allowing this behavior.  I don't know all of the circumstances in these parents' lives, so though I do find it deeply disturbing that young children are still outside right now at 1:45 AM, I try to maintain a level head.  You, too, can disagree or not understand something, but try very hard to really look at certain things closely before you decide who should be rounded up and fenced in or who deserves to be shot and executed.

Well, Perfect Person, part of me wants to be angry at you.  Part of me wants to knee-jerk, too, and do so when it means my foot will meet your face, but I have to remember that I don't know your circumstances.  I don't know how you were raised, how you were treated in life, how much education you pursued (or probably didn't - but I won't speculate or judge!), or the actual anatomical capabilities of your brain.  I try to keep my eye on the fact that there are plenty of other individuals like me who choose to try to live a life that doesn't involve hurting others and perhaps even one that makes the world a better place.  I try to remember that I have to stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves, and that all I can do is be a quality human being who gets to know people on a personal level.  From there, who knows what may happen, but I figure if enough of us get to know each other better, perhaps some of these principles you cling so dearly to in order to draw your attention away from your own shortcomings will change over time.  Perfect Person, please work on you first; be willing to examine your own fears and faults before always seeking them out in others.  But if that's not something you are capable of, simply learn when to keep your mouth shut.  Live and let live, and feel secure enough in your own worth which should stem from the fact that you are the only YOU out of all the people who have ever graced the planet (and that's a LOT!).  Isn't that statistic alone enough to make you feel good about your own specialness and uniqueness?  And isn't merely being genetically qualified to belong to the human race enough for you to say, "Gee, I belong.  I have a group to belong to, and that's dang fine."?  I hope so, Perfect Person.  Otherwise, I question the quality of your hate-filled, myopic little life.

Wishing you the best,

Jonah