Everyone is the "Other"

Just a few minutes ago (well, when I started writing this), I looked up the world's population.  I sat fascinated as the site I used counted and tracked this number live.  People were being born and dying all over the world every second.  The primary purpose of using the site, though, was to put some things in perspective:

• The population of the United States is currently around 324 million
• The population of China is 1.382 BILLION
• The population of India is 1.326 BILLION
• The combined population of just these two countries is 2.708 BILLION
• (It's OK if you keep wanting to pronounce billion as "BEE-lee-un" as Dr. Evil might do)
• The population of the world is 7.429 BILLION
• The population of the United States makes up 4% of the entire world population
• The population of China and India combined - just two of the world's countries - comprises 36%, or just over one-third, of the world's population

So one in three people on this earth is either Chinese or Indian.  America, it's time to learn your place in this world.  Only one in every 297 million people on this earth is an American.  I don't say this because I don't love my country or want people to scoff at the non-patriotic, bleeding-heart liberal they must think I am because I'm not making 'Murica number one in something.  This does not mean that I think China and/or India will or should dominate the world.  Clearly population size is not the criterion for a country subjugating the globe (see: British colonialism, American presence all over the world today).  I am stating facts and math here.  Even when you think of our country's age in the grand scheme of Earth, America is maybe a zygote.  I'm calling out America because our populace tends to be the most myopic in the world.

I have always felt like the "other."  I am a transgender person (the term "trans" will be used from here on to indicate transgender people), and we only comprise an estimated 700,000 (.002%) of the United States population.  Let's say for argument's sake there are an even million trans people in the U.S. since lots of people do not publicly reveal their identities as trans for a variety of reasons, but actually do self-identify as such.  A million is still only about .003% of the U.S. population.  Put that on world population terms, and the current estimated number of 700,000 American trans folk make up .00009% of the population of the whole world.  Yep, I really am the "other," and golly gee whiz have I felt it every second of my life.  Or...  Is 99.9% of the whole world's population (we'll factor in trans people from all over the world) the "other" to me!?  Hmmm...

We use words like "normal" to define what the majority of people do or find to be correct in a given society.  The term heteronormative means "denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation."  This is an example of how people subscribe what's "normal" or correct, but on the flip side of that coin is someone who does not find that scenario to be normal.  I personally identify as heteronormative because I am enamored with this incredible beautiful woman in my life.  However, I am fully fine with the fact that someone who does not identify as heteronormative would find that situation odd, possibly revolting or disgusting.  People who are attracted to other people of the same gender cannot fathom being intimate with someone of the opposite gender.  Who is the "other" here?  Who gets to decide?

Just as Americans think our way of life is awesome, and for the most part it is, people all over the world, the other 94%, thinks otherwise.  94% of the world thinks America is the "other," and many in this country think the other 94% of the world is the "other."  You know what's crazy!?  It's all true!  Everyone is the "other" to someone.  Yes, you, Citizen Good Guy with your gun ideals and white, male, heteronormative, Christian suburban lifestyle, you are the "other" to someone.  You may currently be on the side of "right-thinking" in this country, you may be the best-represented demographic in our government right now, but trust me: somewhere in this country and certainly around the world, you are the "other."  Yes, YOU!  I assure you that there are BEE-lee-uns of people around this world who do not or would not "get" you, just as you don't "get" queers, Muslims, liberals, vegetarians/vegans, Blacks/Latinxs, non-football fans, hybrid car drivers, and anybody else who does not operate exactly like you do within the exact same construct you do.

The main difference between you and me is that I (and scads of other people in this country and around the world) have massive empathy for the "other."  When you spend your whole life being the "other," you know how it feels.  You understand what it feels like to be hated for merely existing.  This includes but is not limited to: all women, all people of color, all LGBT people, and so many more.  So while white Christian heteronormative males in this country experience the luxury of being in the group we as Americans have decided, whether consciously or not, is the most "normal" group, I can empathize with you when you are feeling singled out merely for being born white and male and suddenly feel attacked for merely being who you inherently are.  It really sucks, doesn't it?

My point in all this, though, is not to bash all people who belong to the aforementioned "normal" group in this country, and in the world for the most part.  Many members of that privileged group are superb, hard-working, fine examples of humanity.  My point is to say this: everyone is the "other" to someone else.  We spend a lot of time deciding how everyone else is different from us.  And different is not a bad thing, really.  If I went to Baskin-Robbins and they only offered vanilla, I'd be pretty pissed.  Different is what makes everything about this world awesome: food, music, culture, nature (biodiversity and therefore perpetuation of life, anyone?), and so forth.  Groove Armada has a song called "If Everybody Looked the Same" and after this main line in the chorus, the next line is "We'd get tired of looking at each other."  Boy wouldn't we!!  Whether we know it or not, we thrive on difference, on choice, because of variety.  It is OK to both discern that others are different, because to not acknowledge difference is to lie, as well as celebrate that difference at the same time.  But merely labeling others as different purely to further affirm oneself and proclaim "right-ness" is unacceptable.  You can still be you, and be totally happy with you, without having to decide that I am not as worthy of that same affirmation, love, and celebration.  You do not have the right to do that to anyone.

Even as we recognize and hopefully celebrate differences and the "other" in everyone else, we have to remind ourselves that all 7.429 BILLION of us on this planet do have that one magical thing in common, and that one magical thing will be the tie that binds us for better or for worse.  Once we learn to accept and embrace this one magical thing - miraculous, actually, given the scope of the whole galaxy - perhaps we can also improve the world we all have to share but that we also all have a right to be in.  You don't even have to raise your hand if you know it, just shout it out, because it's all that should matter when deciding why we all deserve respect, dignity, affirmation, life, liberty, and love:

HUMAN.