Awkward Thing Related to Transitioning, Pt. 2

Here are some fun experiences I had to deal with at this stage in my transition.  Overall, I pass as a male when out and about in the world now.  So 93% of my life is peachy in that regard.  However, little things still come up that can be slightly sticky.

The weekend before last, I returned to Texas to go to my cousin's wedding.  Since I now present as male, going through security at the airport was interesting to say the least.  At JFK, the agent took a tad longer to peruse my license and boarding pass.  There was this almost imperceptible change in her face as she grappled with the situation.  Still, she let me go through as it's not like my license photo is so far off from how I look now (at least I don't think it is).

The same issue occurred as I return to New York.  At DFW, the first agent needed a moment to process it all.  Still, there was no major issue and I proceeded.  Clearly I pass because after going through the full body scanner at DFW, a male agent patted me down.  Since my surgery is a few weeks off, I still have to use a binder.  He landed his mitts square on my chest and didn't miss a beat, so that was a pretty big test to pass.

I opted to skip my cousin's reception because I have not really been able to address my family very directly.  My parents are at odds with it all, so I tend to cower quite a bit where my remaining family is concerned (although my dad and stepmom, brother and sister-in-law, and my cuz and cuz-in-law are awesome).  It's not a reflection on anyone in particular because I don't expect people to just jump right on it; it's just a reflection on me and my own fears.  I want to take the time to directly pass on my current situation to those I feel will handle it the best, but admittedly I don't feel very safe in that regard.  So I did not attend my cousin's reception because there are some folks I have not seen in a while, both in and out of the family.  I had no desire to be a side show and detract from their celebration.  My aunt, through absolutely no fault of her own, introduced me as her "niece Amy" and that was a living hell.  She introduced me to the spouse of a family member, a man I had never met, and bless his heart, he walked right up to my girlfriend!  AWKWAAAARRRD!  :)  To his credit, though, he rebounded well and spoke to me as another male peer after that.  Kudos to that gentleman!  Trust me, it was just better to endure the weird pre-wedding stuff, see those two amazing kids get hitched, then high-tail it out of there.  Soon enough I will lay it out for the fam.

Yesterday, I had to schedule a mammogram that my chest surgeon requires.  Even though the radiology center is in Chelsea, the Land of Anything Goes, it was still a fun time walking in and telling the receptionist I need to schedule a mammogram.  I highly doubt I'm the first guy to have to this, but it was a little strange (seems like most people have surgery before starting T, which did not appeal to me because I'd like to buff up the pecs first, thank you).  When the folks upstairs called down to set up the appointment, I'm sure the woman on the phone was like "Why does this chick sound like a dude?"  Oh the agony!  But ironically enough, now that these fatty tumors on my chest are finally going to be removed, we have to ensure they are not cancerous before going into the surgery.  The things one has to do to be whole and live free at last.

I plan to head to the courthouse to change my name tomorrow.  It's not like this instant result; it's just filing the papers and receiving a judge's blessing to proceed to the next step.  I'm thrilled that my future hangs in the balance with some stranger who gets to decide whether or not I can do this.  Not that judges in Manhattan are known for denying people the golden ticket, it's just weird that someone gets to assess my fitness for a name change and play a role in dictating the course of my life.  After that, it is a law that anyone legally changing their name in NYC has to publish it in a newspaper; I guess they want to know who everyone really is so we're not out here stealing identities right and left.  It can be any newspaper, so the staff attorney at TLDEF said there is some Irish newspaper that is the least expensive to post in.  Slainte!

Hopefully within the next 2-3 weeks, the whole process is over and I'll have a New York DL with the real me on it.  From there, it's a domino effect of changing names on bank accounts, SSN, etc.  That sounds incredibly fun...  But hey, it's got to be done so that's just how it is for someone in my situation.  The next trip for the surgery will be all lined up: same name as boarding pass and all that.  Woo hoo!

So for now, that's what's shakin', peeps.  I appreciate everyone who takes the time to learn more about my progress and to develop an understanding of a struggle many others face.  The only way for us to dissolve these prejudices, misconceptions, and fears is to know real people who face different circumstances and represent the variety of human beings on this planet.  Until next time, peace and love to all of y'all!