The good, the bad, and... Just that: good and bad

Taking T is one of those things that is like many other facets of life: it certainly has two sides to it. On one hand, it has been a real blessing, helping to transform me into my real self, the self that everyone will finally be able to see. On the other hand, it brings about some of the lovely drawbacks to adolescence that I just have to ride out until I complete my second puberty (yay, fun!!).

A good: increased muscle mass. I'm definitely a little more stacked in that regard. I've been trying to slowly return to being intensely physically active. I do what my current limits (due to a six-week post-surgical layoff) and hips that are torn to hell allow me to do. As I do a little bit more each day, I feel that incredible desire to pump it up!

A bad: Proacvtiv could sure use me as the "before" shot on their commercials. During the puberty I like to refer to as the "betrayal," I had some acne here and there. Luckily it was never too terrible. I got that occasional Mt. Vesuvius, ridiculously painful zit that felt like it was connected to every nerve in my body, but nothing terribly widespread. Now it's full-blown, adolescent boy acne: face, neck, and backne like I've never known. I combat it the only way I can, but for now, I'm just gonna have to deal with it. I'll chalk it up as part of growing up. ;)

A good: fat being redistributed from assious region.

A bad: fat being redistributed to the bellyous region. My six pack has more insulation than it needed before this, and now it's got a little more. Couple that with the fact that somehow, when the doctor sewed me up after surgery, my fat was kind up pushed up some any way (so it has a nice perch to sit on in the form of my lovely scar), and you've got a dude who is going to have to fight tooth and nail to eliminate the flabs on the abs. Oh yeah, and I have to divorce Little Debbie and her honeybuns... I have very few vices, so don't judge.

A good: feeling emotionally and mentally normal for the first time. I truly feel 100% right. The sense of calm I now enjoy is indescribable. For anyone who thinks people's bodies are always the appropriate designation for one's brain, just take my word for it: our brains can definitely develop one way while our bodies stray off and try to damn near kill us. To just be able to sense that I am becoming whole is a gift for which I cannot ever be thankful enough.

A bad: not that I'm complaining, but I've got so much to get in order as I proceed with my transition. I have to line up a phone consultation with an amazing attorney (an out trans Aggie, she is) back in Houston who will help me go through the process of correcting my birth certificate. Of course after all of that I have to do the whole domino rally of name-change tasks. I also have to call and schedule my top surgery, which is currently being planned for mid-June, then figure out how to save up for it. Oh, I guess I should finish filing my income tax return, which I have avoided because the state of New York is gangster and taking its little share of taxes from my Texas Teacher Retirement. Good times!

In the end, I could not be happier with the progress of my transition. I'm excited to know that some day, people will meet me for the first time and meet the real me from the outset. As for everyone who already knows me, I know there are plenty of you who do indeed know the real me, too. :) Gotta go scrub my face now - I can practically feel the seismic waves under it as new topography erupts on my skin! Peace and love, peeps.